The Do’s & Don’ts Of A Submissive Wife

As I said before, I chose to become a submissive wife because God has expressed this as His will for me, and it’s made my marriage easier and more enjoyable.

Submissiveness is not for self-centered, conceited women – or at least it forces that spirit out of you. It demands a humble, teachable spirit, which is hard to find these days, but is a gem in the sight of God.

There are some do’s and don’ts you must be aware of to avoid major disputes and embarrassment in your marriage.

This advice is for couples who have first and foremost submitted to Christ, and acknowledge the order He has instituted in the family unit.

My own marriage is not yet where we want it to be, but we push on to attain the mark that Christ has set for me and Erick. We will not make excuses and settle for anything less than the ideal which the Lord has revealed is possible to achieve.

Here are some things you should consider as a submissive wife:

The Do’s

1. Do Ensure His “Basic” Needs Are Taken Care Of.

The Proverbs 31 woman looks after the affairs of her own family and everyone, including her servants, are safe and protected in her home.

Meals are ready on time, there is always some clean clothes available to wear everyday, and the provisions given by her husband are supplied to everyone in good time.

Ensure your husband doesn’t worry about these basic needs, because that is your duty as the queen of the kingdom.

2. Do Stay Quiet & Listen More In Group Discussions.

When you and your husband are gathered with friends, typically, conversations begin concerning current affairs and other serious issues.

Worldly, feminist advice will tell you to speak your mind and let your opinion be known, no matter what.

Sometimes, this will lead you to say something ignorant, offensive or irrelevant that will bring your husband shame.

The Lord asks us to possess a meek, quiet spirit and be silent in such situations.

3. Do Run Any Major Plans By Him First.

This is common sense, but sometimes we feel like some plans don’t involve him and it’s not necessary to “inform” him.

However, it’s unwise to make any major plans that will affect the whole family without informing your husband, even if it lies in your sphere if responsibilities.

This incudes purchasing very expensive things (yes, even if the money is yours), travelling somewhere far, starting long-term or large projects at home etc.

What happens after that? If he says no, and gives a logical, reasonable reason why you can’t go on with your plans, obey him and let it go.

I know, it sounds awful, odd and oppressive. But trust me, it will only hurt a while and you’ll move on and forget about it.

Also, if you trust that your husband is a good man that loves you, the rejections will only be once in a while. Men see some things us women don’t, and the vice versa is true!

The Don’ts

1. Don’t Raise Your Voice At Him Or Insult Him.

Just don’t do it. You wouldn’t do it to a stranger, so don’t do it to the man you love.

When you feel angry, talk to the Lord instead and take your complaints to the One who records all your tears in His book.

You can also ask for some time to cool down and resume the conversation when you’re calm.

2. Don’t Insist On Something After He Says No.

Again, if your man has given you logical, reasonable reasons why you shouldn’t do something, trust that he knows what he’s talking about and take his advice.

Don’t wait to mess things up or make mistakes, so you can see that he was right.

Even if he isn’t right, there is order in the government of Jehovah and you should respect that, not because of your husband but because of the the King of the universe.

3. Don’t Discuss His Shortcomings With Another Man.

I would say, even with another woman, unless she is an older, married woman ready to advice you.

Talking about your husband’s weaknesses with another person, especially a guy friend, in an effort to make yourself feel better is cheating.

Think about it – you’re probably emotional, in need of consolation, and disclosing your dirty laundry to someone else will only draw you further away from your husband and develop an emotional attachment with another man.

Sooner or later, you’ll act on your feelings for that person because they’ve “always been there for you” and “understand you better.”

Instead, take your worries to the feet of Jesus and disclose your fears to the Man who loves you more than your earthly husband ever will!

In Conclusion

God’s ways and the world’s ways are different. Don’t be afraid to be called old-fashioned or mocked because that is how God’s faithful people have been treated since the beginning.

May the Lord keep you in Him.